Ashes to Ashes

Hey Laurel here...so this was another very special episode.  The WORST very special episode.  Ok maybe not as bad as the little league one but pretty close.  This will probably be a pretty short post because Mark and me both hated it so much.

The show tries to tackle racism.  And the way that it does is so racist!  Long story short a black family moves to Beverly Hills from Inglewood, down the street from the Walsh's.   Cue the racist jokes, "hood" references,  bad style signifiers (we will post a picture of "Devo's" ear cuff..so black!), etc.  Super painful.  Oh, also cue the fact that in this episode there have been a bunch of break-ins in the neighborhood recently.  Really?

Devo, the daughter's boyfriend who still lives in inglewood comes to visit her.  While he is walking to her house he gets roughed up by the neighborhood security patrol for no reason except that he's black and walking down the street in Beverly Hills.  Yep, these kinds of things actually happen folks!

I know the show is old and all that but even aside from that this was especially painful.  I'm glad it's over.  Oh, and it's over all right, even though the son from the Ash family lives down the street and becomes the staff photographer for the school paper I don't think we ever see him again, ever.

Mark here...Uggg!!! I do't have a lot to add as this episode was super embarrassing for all involved.  I mean the actors did what they could but the writing was so terrible!!  Just embarrassing and embarrassing to watch as it just admits the show is racist as we will never see the black family again and all the characters we know, who are white, treat them as aliens.  Yes, there's supposed to be a lesson there, but the fact that we will never see them again is bad.  The fact that they moved from the "hood" to Beverly Hills is bad (because obviously a black family must be coming straight from the hood to Beverly Hills) UG...just painful to watch...

Our style award is a tie...going to Andrea for her matching scrunchy and shirt ensemble and to perennial winner Cindy for her colorblocked jumpsuit.

Our cocktail and quote is Brandon imitating Sherice.  In his best fake black girl accent "FYI Brandon...Beverly Hills AIN'T heaven on earth."

Laurel here...I would say our cocktail moment should be every time something racist happens but Mark and I would be falling down drunk.

Wildfire

Mark here...we're on to the next episode of Beverly Hills 90210 Season 2.  I made us a variation of Jamie Oliver's Potato Latke Breakfast.  I substituted sausage for smoked fish and arugula for watercress.  Laurel made us Orange Aperol Sun cocktails that are fantastic and have the perfect color for a brunch cocktail!

On to the episode!  Emily Valentine shows up!  This adds a bit of excitement.  The summer episodes were a bit of a slog, aside from the camping trip and so Emily definitely adds some spice to the group.  She shows up in bad girl attire on her motorcycle and instantly makes dates with Dylan AND Brandon.  Clearly she's a slut according to the girls, who behave like a trio out of the movie Heathers.  Anyway, turns out Emily isn't a slut and just wants to make friends...although we're a little skeptical, she could tell Brenda was upset at her dating Dylan before she knew everything.  The girls make up and we're forced to endure perhaps the worst rendition of "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do".   One funny note is Andrea's pained reaction every time Emily shows up and peaks Brandon's interest.

Plotline 2 involves Scott (who we forgot about) from Season 1 showing up for the first day of school. He and David were friends, but David has become cool, and Scott has become, frankly, crazy.  Yes, apparently a summer in Oklahoma can turn you gun crazy.  I can't say I'm surprised.  It's also not the least bit subtle as Scott now wears a cowboy hat to school every day and listens to country...obviously a cry for help...

Hey Laurel here...not much to add except if Emily is trying to make friends maybe she shouldn't date the same girl's brother and boyfriend her first 2 nights in town!  Oh, and date two guys back to back nights who are best friends!

This episode is chock full of great outfits!  The style award for me is a toss up between Brenda's (men's) shirt and tie first day of school outfit and Emily Valentine's lacy bike shorts/leather daddy hat/pearls ensemble she wear to preform the aforementioned torturous rendition of "breaking up is hard to do".

I think our cocktail moment was anytime David and Scott refer to guns, the sat of which is when David says to Scott "Hey man, ease up with the guns ok?"  Not enough David, not enough.

Our favorite quote is a Brenda gem...Emily Valentine tells the girls that her mom has scheduled her an appointment at the Gynocologist to get some birth control pills.  Apparently her older sisters have had to make some hard choices.  Later when Brenda sees Emily in the hall they get into a little tif which Brenda ends by saying "Have a GREAT time at the gynecologist" and storms off.  Way to burn her Brenda!

Camping Trip

Hi Laurel here...wow this one was a doozie!  So terrible and so awesome.  Definitely my favorite of season 2 so far.

So the gang goes on a camping trip to Yosemite.  Somehow Jim and Cindy have no problem with 8 teenagers going camping, unsupervised, to Yosemite, which is super far away from LA but I digress.

Anyway the kids get caught in a rainstorm and have to stay the night at a shady camping place that only has one cabin left, one cabin with not nearly enough beds for 8 kids, no hot water, and nothing to eat but cheese puffs.  Somehow they meet the honeymooners from a neighboring cabin and get way involved in their personal life.  Turns out the woman is pregnant and hasn't told her new husband yet, and when he brings up how he's so glad they are not going to have kids she loses her shit and turns to the gang for comfort.  She comes over, in her nightgown, and is like "do you guys have room for one more?"  NO!  But of course they take her in and she tells them all about her dilemma.  Then the guy comes over, who has no idea what the wife is upset about, and the gang gets them back together by getting them to, um, have a conversation with each other?  These grown people couldn't have figured that out for themselves?

Dylan is wounded because him mom let him down, I think she was supposed to visit him that weekend and didn't show or something?  Anyway he is acting like a little bitch because he is out of sorts.  He storms out more times than we could count, slamming a seemingly endless amount of doors, doors which couldn't possible exist in real life because they are staying in a one room cabin.  Hilarious.

So after his final storm off Dylan goes out and gets "wasted" off of two nips he pinched of the troubled honeymooners.  TWO NIPS people.  Like literally four ounces of liquor.  Brandon finds him in the morning passed out on a tree stump.  He is so hungover.  See pictures.  It's fucking hilarious.

So of course Brandon's remedy for this is for them to go hiking, even though we have heard him bitch and moan the whole episode about how Brenda forgot to pack his hiking boots for him and he is going to have to go hiking in his slippery wet sneakers.  We see him take a few tumbles (dammit Brenda!) and we wonder what this could possibly all be leading to.  Well turns out despite the slippery shoes he and Dylan decide to climb a super tall sketchy rock.  They get to the top and are enjoying a bromance moment until Brandon slips OFF THE EDGE!  Darn those shoes!  and Dylan has to save his life and pull him up.  An amazing scene which goes on for too long, and includes some prop master off camera throwing rocks at Brandon's face the whole time.  In the end Dylan saves his life and those dudes are closer than ever.  They finally get back to the gang, who have been worried about them all day.  They are both bruised and dirty.  hone asked what happened, Brandon replies..."Oh, we were just hanging out"  which seems a satisfactory explanation to everyone.  Ok great let's get going!

Mark here... Laurel did a great job of summing up the episode...TERRIBLE yet AMAZING!  You never see Jim or Cindy, perhaps because no parents would ever allow their teenagers to drive off to Yosemite for a weekend!  The show makes it seem like Yosemite is just around the corner from Beverly Hills...its at least 5 hours away!

Anyway, at first it seems like we're in for a perpetually "Wacky" episode with the rain and the honeymooners next door...who by the way can't seem to get enough of the teenagers next door.  I mean what honeymooner doesn't want advice from some 16 year olds?  Also, we get a little moralizing as Steve hopelessly tries to buy booze unsuccessfully ( a 6 pack...for 8 of them...) But things get fun when Dylan goes on his 2 nip bender, followed by the life and death hike.  If only Brenda had packed those hiking boots!

In any case, Brandon shows up scarred and gashed, but it's no big deal, the gang just wants breakfast...

The style award goes to David Silver's american spirit ensemble...

The cocktail moment is clearly when Dylan falls of the wagon with his 2 nips!

And the quote has to be Dylan after his all night bender..."I got mine though...puked my guts out"....AFTER 2 NIPS!!!

Pass, Not Pass

Mark here...this episode revolves mainly around Brenda and Andrea, with a subplot about Brandon and his new car.  It's kind of funny as Brenda and Andrea both have the hots for their acting teacher, and surprise, surprise he likes Andrea!  Really?! Andrea!!  I mean I know it's like the bitch or the bore, but really...  So of course Brenda is a bitch when it turns out teach likes Andrea, culminating in a slap during an acting "scene" in which Brenda really slaps Andrea (see below!). Andrea is her typical annoying self the ENTIRE episode, pretty unbearable.  How did she ever get cast?  Who likes her?  There's a scene with her in the teacher where it is painfully obvious she is way older than the teacher, yet she acts the lovestruck teenager.  And by "acts" I mean overacts.  She "ums" and stutters her way through every moment to the point where you want to sleep her like Brenda did, repeatedly!!  In the end, teach has a girlfriend and was using Andrea, and she makes up with Brenda.  Of course it helps that Dylan has returned from Hawaii and Brenda has  bigger fish to fry.

Separately, Brandon finally buys the car he has been saving up for all summer...or at least the last 4 episodes, and it's a lemon.  Fortunately, Jim and Cindy come to the rescue and fix it up for him.  It's boring, but Jim and Cindy once again prove themselves the greatest parents.  I know when we were young they seemed so lame...now it's like, who wouldn't want these parents?  They are always understanding.  They made Brandon work the whole summer for his car, after totaling the last one in a drunk driving accident.  But have now decided that's all in the past and to buy him a new car.  The past being 3 months ago, which n teenage years is a lifetime.

Hey Laurel here...not much to add except to complain more about Andrea...I mean really, we are supposed to believe her teacher is older than her, but she's the one with crow's feet.  Which leads us to our quote of the episode!  Andrea says to her teacher "You're eyes do this cute little crinkling thing when you smile"  His eyes are crinkly?  Girl, check a mirror.

This also ties into our cocktail moment.  When the teacher says to Andrea "We shouldn't do this.  If only you were 5 years older..."  Dude, if she was 5 years old she would be old enough to be your momma!

Style award this episode goes to Cindy for her peach blouse and pants outfit.  Her pants and shirt match so perfectly it looks like she's wearing a onesie.  Way to go Cindy!

Play It Again David

Hi Laurel here...Mark and I just sat down to another 90210 brunch.  I made a baked french toast stuffed with ham and gruyere from Martha Stewart, it turned out pretty good!

So this is another very special episode, but at least this time they included some of the normal plot and it wasn't JUST about the very special part, a la the little league episode from season one.  Torture!

Andrea asks Brandon to be a big brother to some kid she knows who's previous big brother fell through.  The kid is acting out being a jerk, and surprise!  Poor Felix is being abused.  Brandon talks to his parents about it and they advise him to talk to a social worker and get a professional involved, but instead Brandon goes to confront the abusive mother on his own.  So dumb!  But of course since it's 90210 everything turns out for the best.  Brandon convinces the abusive mother to get help, and Felix just has to stay at a group home for a few weeks while his mom gets it together.  Yay Brandon!  You are so good!  At the end of the episode Brandon asks Felix, his new bff, if he wants to go to a King's game.  But as Mark pointed out we never, ever, see this kid again for the rest of the entire series.

The main story line from the show that carries through this episode and provides a little relief from the heavy abusive part is that Kelly's mom and David Silver's dad start dating.  At first Kelly totally hates it but by the end she comes around and accepts that Mel might actually be a nice guy for her mom to date.  She even makes friends with David!

Mark here...I totally agree with Laurel's assessment.  The theme of the episode seems to be Brandon Solves Child Abuse!! So the actors and writers can feel good about themselves and we'll never see this kid again!! Meanwhile, he handles it totally inappropriately!!  If you encounter child abuse as a 16 year old, confronting the adult is the LAST thing you should do!  Also, why is Brandon hanging out with Andrea? Why would anyone want a friend who makes them be a big brother?

The other plot with Kelly is mildly amusing and at least helps distract from the after school special with Brandon.  You can also see why, behind the scenes, Shannen Doherty might not be happy...a whole episode without Brenda.  Sure there are some scenes of her pining for Dylan (who is supposed to be in Hawaii, and LITERALLY phones in this episode), but mainly Kelly is lead lady this episode.

Cocktail Moment: anytime Kelly pouts about her mom dating David's dad.

Quote of Note: Jim Walsh says "Hi Brandon, you look beat"  Brandon: "I'm not, but I know who is.." REALLY?!?!  subtle.

and the Style Award definitely goes to Steve in his barely there short shorts! Seriously, if he crouches, his junk is falling out!

Also Cindy for her canadian tuxedo outfit, a denim shirt tucked into pleated denim koolots.  We didn't get a good shot of this one but I have a feeling we will see something similar on her again.

Bagels Brunch with Scrambled Eggs

Mark here...updating last week's Beverly Hills 90210 brunch...I started with Barefoot Contessa's recipe and improvised....

Bagels with Herb Cream Cheese and Toppings

Ingredients

Bagels (We got ours from local bagel shop Brooklyn Bagel Bakery on Beverly in LA)
1 8 oz pack of cream cheese (room temperature)
fresh dill
scallions
parsley
smoked salmon
prosciutto
heirloom tomatos
red onion
1 tablespoon milk
salt and pepper

First chop the herbs.  I didn't use the original recipes amounts, I just winged it with about a handful of each?  See below

3 scallions

and handful of dill

and a bit more of parsley and throw everything into the food processor

Blitz it together to get a fairly even chop...

At this point, add the cream cheese, milk and a couple pinches each of salt and pepper...mix some more until the whole thing is an even green and put it in a serving bowl.

Then slice the tomatoes and red onions (in half rings), and lay out the smoked salmon and prosciutto all on a serving platter and its ready!

Scrambled Eggs

Ingredients

4 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons cream
salt and pepper

Most everyone knows how to scramble eggs I realize, but I'm just documenting how I did it!  First crack the eggs in a bowl and whisk.  Melt the butter in a frying pan and add the eggs.  Stir constantly and as the liquid has almost all evaporated, add the cream and salt and pepper to taste.  Cokk about one minute more then remove from heat and serve.

Anaconda

Hey Laurel here...So it turns out Anaconda is a card game, and Dylan is a good guy.  That's what we learn this episode.

Steve talks Brandon into letting some people into the game room of the beach club after hours to play poker.  The first time they get away with it, the beach club boss just finds some cheetos and poker chips the next day.  But the second time a bunch of electronics get stolen and now the kids are in trouble.  But somehow Brandon doesn't get fired?

Meanwhile, Dylan has fallen on some hard times.  All of his family's assets are frozen because of his father's arrest, and we see him at the pawn shop selling off his guitar and stuff.  He joins the kids at the beach club for poker the 2nd time, and loses all his money he just got from the pawn shop.  So when the electronics go missing, Brandon suspects Dylan.  It turns out he is innocent and Brandon feels terrible for accusing him.  wah wah.

Mark here... I agree with Laurel..why isn't Brandon fired at this point?!  They all talk to him like he's an adult!  Otherwise, the episode does make me start to see why Dylan was a heartthrob...but seriously, he has more chemistry with Brandon than Brenda at this point!

The episode is a bit dull otherwise,...Dylan ends up leaving at the end when he finally calls his mother in Hawaii and she sends him a ticket to join her.

The quote is definitely when Brenda, lamenting Dylan's situation, says "It's like Dylan's father isn't the only one in jail!" She is talking about the situation but it comes across, yet again, as Brenda, Brenda, Brenda!!

The cocktail moment is clearly when the gang breaks into the beach club to play poker and Brenda and Donna are smoking cigars!!

The style award goes to David Silver and his beach club ensemble...really??  You can't tell from this picture, but it's a complete shorts suit.  Boom.