Inca Mummy Girl

Hey dudes Laurel here...

This episode was sort of a yawn except for the intro of Seth Green.  He has a terrible mustache and he's in a terrible band, but still, it's Seth Green and he obviously likes Willow so points for that.

Besides that so boring!  Some douchebag hoping to make a buck tries to steal an ancient seal from a mummy from olden times on display at a museum (obviously ti was Giles idea to go on this excursion)... but joke's on the douchebag!  She (the mummy) attacks him, sucks the life out of him to take as her own, and somehow she ends up with braces because of this exchange which is how the gang knows there's something fishy going on.

The reason she has braces is that the whole time she's been a mummy she keeps getting to live mini lives by making out with people and stealing the lives out of them.  She could have had Xander (our poor, naive, soulmate seeking boy) but she has an attack of conscious at the last minute because he is such a good guy she can't bear to steal his life.

Mark here... Laurel just did the thankless job of summing up this snorefest.  Really, this was the definition of a filler episode. After last episode, which was so exciting, this was a bit hard to pay attention to.   I don't know what else to say, except that the best thing about this episode was the introduction of Seth Green's Oz character.  I don't know if we know his band's name yet but I'm going to spill the beans...Dingoes Ate My Baby!

So, normally we'd give this episode 1 stake, but based on the introduction of Seth Green, we are giving it 2 stakes...barely!!

School Hard

Mark here... This episode was much better than the last 2.  We get our first introduction to Spike and Drusilla, two vampires who are really much better adversaries.  Spike in particular is so charismatic as a villain!  So the episode is basically some vampire threat is approaching at the same time as parent-teacher night.  Buffy and the gang get trapped in the school as the vampires attack, lead by Spike.  We see this coming as Spike comes to town and runs into Buffy.  As Giles finds out, Spike has killed 2 slayers previously.  Drusilla is portrayed as having been wounded and slightly weaker.  Laurel wasn't so into Drusilla but I think she's a bit creepy.  She's definitely not as threatening as Spike at this point.

Spike really blows into town and shakes up the plot at this point.  By the end of the episode he has killed the Anointed One, or the Annoying One as he called him...basically the little brat who seems like a plot idea that went nowhere.  Spike's killing him changes the game and gives us a clean slate in terms of villains.

The whole idea of the vampire invasion on parent-teacher night is really fun.  Buffy's mom Joyce is there and has been read the riot act about Buffy by Principal Snyder, but then Buffy takes charge in a crisis situation. Joyce isn't on to the vampires and slayers thing yet thanks to some dark lighting, but she knows her daughter showed courage and leadership while a "gang" attacked the school.

Hey Laurel here...The only thing I have to add is that we get our first glimpse of Buffy exposing to her mom how much of a bad ass she is!  Her mom thinks that she is just some troubled teen who is having a hard time adjusting to a new school.  This episode in addition to Buffy handling all of the arrangements for parent teacher night as a penance for being a bad student, we witness Joyce seeing her daughter totally handling a the super scary vampire situation like a champ.  Hopefully Buffy will start getting a little credit for all the work she is doing behind the scenes to save the whole town, and not just be labeled as a troubled teen going forward.

Also Spike is the best thing to happen to this show so far.  I love a likable, charismatic villain.  So far the villains (the master in particular) have just been totally gross and completely hate-able, Spike adds some complexity to the mix because we know he is bad yet he has so much charisma and personality.  Mark and me both love a bad boy.

In conclusion, we give this episode 4 stakes, really a great episode!

Some Assembly Required

Hey Laurel here...this episode is kind of a more gruesome take on weird science...Willow is friends with a smart kid a school, Chris, who's older brother, a HS football star,  has died tragically about a year earlier.  At the same time Buffy discovers an empty grave where a teenage girl has been dug up and taken.  When Angel creepily follows Cordelia in a dark parking lot, she gets sacred because she is being followed, fumbles her keys, and hops into a dumpster.  Why she doesn't realize by now that she shouldn't have her keys ready ahead of time before she wanders out into a dark parking lot is beyond me, but I digress.  In the dumpster she and Angel find a bunch of teen girl body parts.  It turns out they are all leftover parts from teenage girl grave robberies, with a few choice parts missing.

It turns out that Chris and his nerdy yearbook friend are trying to assemble the perfect girl body, out of dead girl body parts, so that Chris's brother who they brought back from the dead won't be lonely anymore.  But what will they do for the head?  They have to get a "fresh" head because formaldehyde kills brain cells.  The resurrected brother chooses Cordelia to be the head donor.

So at the big game on Friday, the boys try to abduct Cordelia in the deserted girl's locker room, where Cordelia inexplicably is hanging out by herself.  Buffy foils their abduction, but the boys don't give up easily and end up abducting Cordelia minutes later when she wanders into a dark corner under the bleachers at the big game.  How hard is it to not find yourself alone in a dark corner at a fucking high school football game Cordelia?!?  Anyway they haul her away to their weird secret laboratory where Buffy and the gang save the day again.  Chris's resurrected brother burns up in a fire that has started in the ruckus, and is dead again.  All is as it should be.  You shouldn't mess with the universe, teens!

Mark here...Laurel did a great job of summing up the episode.  It's sort of a teenage twist on the Frankenstein story.  It's not the most imaginative episode, although I will give them points for making it creepy and scary.  But yeah, why Cordelia, having grown up in Sunnydale, doesn't know at this point to watch her back?!?

There's also a subplot of Giles trying to work up the courage to ask Jenny Calendar out on a date.  She ends up doing the heavy lifting there.  I'm still not sold on Jenny Calendar but I think it plays out cute enough.  I guess my problem is more that the actress just doesn't fit the "technopagan" description.

Anyway, I think we both decided that this episode merits another 3 stakes.  It was actually a bit more entertaining than the last but still a fairly average monster-of-the-week episode.

Buffy! - When She Was Bad

Mark here... we are on to Season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!  For this show and season we've decided to challenge ourselves and have a "bloodless" theme for all our recipes. With that in mind, I've made us an appetizer of celery sticks and a cream cheese dip, as well as a mushroom risotto dinner.

So as I "nerdsplained" to Laurel, Buffy seasons tend to follow an arc with the beginning episodes being seemingly one-offs, peppered with some hints of a larger plot, leading up to a major episode mid-season that catapults things towards a final confrontation with a Big Bad.  This episode, as the premiere, was sort of a catch up for anyone who hadn't seen season one.  Season 1's Big Bad was the Master and this episode, "When She Was Bad", shows the gang meeting up after summer vacation.  Buffy is still traumatized by her confrontation with the Master last season.  This leads to some unrealistic bitchiness towards everyone around her as she takes out her anxiety on everyone.  The plot is basically Buffy trying to prevent the resurrection of the Master.  It's a fairly plain episode with some fun scares but nothing too special.  There are some funny lines though.  In the end, Buffy prevents the Master's return and smashes his bones (I think because he was such an old vampire, he had bones - go figure) and then makes up with the gang.

Laurel here...Yeah Buffy is a real bitch in this episode!  I thought that there was going to be some larger reason (like secretly someone was going to kill them all if she didn't get them to hate her)
 but it turns out she was just traumatized by her run-ins with the master.  Also she kept having dreams about him coming back to life and haunting her, which turned out to be relevant because a bunch of vampires were trying to resurrect him.  Mark also nerdsplained to me that it's a slayer thing for dreams to be relevant, although it's not always clear exactly what they mean until it happens.

So side note...I bet we probably talked about this first season, but can we just re-visit how giant Buffy's stunt woman is?  She is way bigger than Buffy (not hard to do I'm sure), wears a terrible wig, and looks to be mid to late 30s.  I get it if they can't do anything about her age or size, there's probably not that many lady stuntwomen out there...but can't they at least get her a decent wig?

My favorite quote this episode was when Buffy is reading the random note from the vampires (they had kidnapped Cordelia) that says "Come to the Bronze (the night club/cafe where all the kids hang out) or we will make a meal of her."  To which Xander responds "They're going to cook her dinner?!?"  Oh Xander.

Mark here...we've decided to start rating our impression of each episode this season, using a "stake" rating system, 1 to 5 stakes (5 being the best). I'm pretty sure I read it somewhere else, so while the graphics are ours, I can't say the idea is.  If someone complains, we may have to replace it with a plastic fangs rating system! But with that in mind we'd give this episode 3 stakes.  Not bad, but not great.

Wedding Bell Blues

Mark here... we are finally at the season finale of season 2 of 90210! Thank god! I want to say this season was better than season one, but really its about the same.  You remember the show as being so entertaining, and while it has it's moments, there's so much filler!

In any case, this episode deals with the fallout from last episode with Dylan and Brenda going to Mexico.  Jim Walsh has to pick up Brenda from Mexico and is understandably furious.  He reads Brenda and Dylan the riot act. Dylan is surprisingly such a jerk this episode.  Granted he is supposed to be a poor little rich boy, but he sure does act like it this episode.  He never fails to make everything all about him and has no perception of why Jim and Cindy would feel betrayed by him.  After a serious of talks with Jim Walsh he ends up exploding at the end of the episode at Jim, going so far as telling Jim to punch him.  Jeez, chill out Dylan!  On the one hand it's believable for a spoiled teenage rich kid.  On the other, it's annoying, as he seems more concerned with looking cool.  Not sure if this is the actor or the writing....but the cliffhanger of the season/episode is Brenda crying after her dad and Dylan's big blowout.

One fun part about this is at one point Cindy writes a heartfelt note to Dylan about making up with Jim and we get to see her note on her "stationary"...which is so clearly printed out on someone's home printer with just "Cindy Walsh" on the top...not even "From the desk of Cindy Walsh"!

CINDY WALSH!!

The other plot line is Kelly's mom, Jackie, marrying David Silver's dad, Mel.  This proves to be a comedy of errors as flooding prevents them from having their wedding at their house.  Brandon accidentally tells Kelly they should have their wedding at the Walsh house...on thing leads to another and soon Cindy and Jim are begrudgingly offering their house.  Jim and Cindy do provide a bit of "wacky" comic relief here.  Of course, Jackie has no friends, so Kelly, Brenda and Donna serve as bridesmaids.

Laurel here...First of all, I think it's totally hilarious/wrong/the best that Brenda and Donna are Jackie's bridesmaids.  My mom Barb sometimes crosses the line with my friends, but really, this takes the cake!!!

Also this episode Dylan is so annoying!  He whisks Jim's TEENAGE daughter to MEXICO, and then is bent out of shape because Jim is upset.  At one point at the wedding he throws his glass beer bottle at the wall, breaking it, because he is so upset with Jim for "breaking his trust"  Really?  Jim broke your trust?  At which point he also tells Jim, "get your hands off my money!"  Like there's anyone more trustworthy in Los Angeles to handle your money than Jim Walsh.  Please.  Jim is like an investment unicorn...someone this trustworthy doesn't even exist in real life.

Also this episode Brenda is super annoying (surprise!).  Dylan says he may not go to Jackie's wedding because of the tension with Jim.  Brenda says she's not going if he doesn't go.  Really?  You aren't going to go to your best friends mom's wedding?  At which you are supposed to be a bridesmaid?  Because your "teenage" boyfriend is mad at your dad?

So style award this episode goes to...Jackie!  For her actually awesome maternity dress.  This is our very first non-ironic style award guys.  Enjoy it while it lasts because there won't be many more.

Our cocktail moment would be any time Jake from Melrose hits on Kelly...umm, statutory rape!

We are so excited to be done with nine-0 for now!  On to Buffy!  The theme is going to be "bloodless"  we are challenging ourselves to an entirely vegetarian season.  stay tuned!

Mexican Standoff

Amalia here, Guest Blogger Extraordinaire...Laurel prepared an amazing breakfast burger on a tater tot waffle with a side of arugula salad along with homemade fresh tomato bloody mary's (really the best I've ever had!).

Bloody Marys and Breakfast Burgers on Tater tot waffles

The egg is a little prettier here

Today's episode focused on Brenda's angsty relationship with her parents, Jim and Cindy, who are frustrated with her constant curfew lapses due to some hot make out scenes with Dylan (who has always been my favorite of the 90210 boys).

Brenda plots a sneaky plan to join Dylan on a surfing trip to Baja when her parents refuse to let her go. And in true 90's soap style, the trip turns out to be a disaster! Brenda and Dylan get in a fight because Dylan is a slutty, teenage boy and Brenda's not the first girl he's brought to Baja. Oh Dylan, those sideburns are too hard to resist!

And meanwhile, back in B.H., Kelly is hitting on the sexy Jake from Melrose Place...wait, how old is this dude?? Uh oh, I smell trouble...

Mark here...Amalia did a great job of summing things up! Basically, Brenda and Dylan plot this Mexican getaway, and because we must have a lesson for the teenagers, things go amuck!  Of course, they do end up having fun but at first Brenda pouts after finding out Dylan brought another girl to Baja while she and Dylan were "on a break"!  Sigh...   Eventually they make up and end up dancing at a restaurant, succeeding in being the whitest people in Mexico.

Blending right in

Meanwhile, Brandon and Kelly provide cover for Brenda with the Walshes and seem to be a little annoyed with it.  Kelly though is distracted with sexy Jake from Melrose Place. Where does he live? Oh "this little place off Melrose, nothing special".  He's doing construction at Kelly's house and is clearly double Kelly's age! Scandal!  We also get another reference to Steve's ongoing crush on Kelly, which is the most boring subplot.

One funny part is when Andrea gets wind of Brenda and Dylan's trip and promptly tries to plan a group trip to hone in on their romantic getaway. Oh Andrea.

In the end, Dylan and Brenda get stopped at the border coming back to the US and Brenda has forgotten her I.D.  Cliffhanger! Really, this is pre-9/11, I doubt the border guards would care too much about 2 obviously american teenagers, but we need to have a lesson about lying to your parents!

Hey Laurel here...I can't wait to find out what happens?!?  Are Jim and Cindy really going to find out?!?

Style award this episode goes to....Dylan!   For his sleeveless wetsuit/mom jeans combo.  Way to go Dylan!  Also the reception desk at Dylan and Brenda's baja hotel, which was wearing a mexiacn blanket.  Arriba!

(Style Honorable mention also goes to Dylan for making a Hawaiian shirt look surprisingly hip - it must be those damn sideburns!)

Cocktail moment is when Jake asks Kelly, "Are you going to be around?"  to which she replies "Why, do you need someone to hold your level?"  Dirty girl.  Dirty dirty teenage girl.